Friday, June 27, 2014

Calendar, Marked

Labor Day traditionally signals the end of summer, and the date on which conscientious Americans put away their white bucks and seersucker. Most of us spend it nursing the hangover we earned by celebrating a bonus socially acceptable drinking evening.

This year, though, we'll want to make sure all of our faculties are intact and our schedules are cleared. On September 1, 2014, Lifetime is set to air a tell-all film about what happened behind the scenes on "Saved by the Bell".

"The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story" takes up where Dustin Diamond's autobiography left off, dishing dirt on the sex, drugs, and more sex and drugs enjoyed by the young cast members. (Let's, for a moment, pause to consider the 'unauthorized' portion of the title. Is there any actor in that original cast, with the possible exception of Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who wouldn't kill for the publicity this tell-all will bring him or her? They may not have signed a contract giving permission, but they're damned sure sitting at The Max waiting for the new job offers to come in.)

Clarence and I, for two, will be hunkered down in front of our televisions, popcorn at the ready. We saw "Showgirls" in a theatre. "Unauthorized" has a high bar to clear to surpass Elizabeth Berkley's star turn. But we're willing to give it a chance.

As long as Belding keeps his clothes on.

83 comments:

T.J. said...

yes. i have much excitement for this endeavor

rob said...

we should plan a viewing party

T.J. said...

it will be at The Max

rob said...

boom

Danimal said...

All over it.

Marls said...

Everybody is really nice in this new building. Today, three people stopped by to introduce themselves and say hi. I now know the names of 3 more people than I did in the NY apartment I lived in for 2 years. Im a little creeped out.

Marls said...

Also, they just opened a "World of Beer" in the building. This might be a problem.

rob said...

beginning last monday, i'm taking 11 days of vacation and spending 5 days in switzerland for work out of 23 total business days. i may gain 30 pounds.

Clarence said...

Rob, I think we saw Showgirls in a theater, not a theatre. Union Station cinema blows.

Mr KQ said...

Marls, add two more to the list as KQ's mom lives in bldg across the way. We're there often. See you at WOB.

Marls said...

We are at the bar at Clyde's now. Stop by.

rootsminer said...

Welcome to the friendly side of the Mason Dixon Line, Mr. Marls!

Mark said...

Pour a little out for Bobby Womack.

Clarence said...

"Across 110th Street" is one of my favorite soul songs. Listening to it now. I'll pour some out.

zman said...

Clarence is correct, that's a good song. "Showgirls in the theater" was a rush event in 1995 or 1996. That's where we got Big Cuntry and maybe Mayhuge.

Mark said...

Bobby has many good jams. I was totally unaware of him until a Diamond D sample in the late 90s made me look into Womack's catalog. If I wasn't sharing a hotel room with a sleeping toddler I'd be listening to lots of his stuff tonight. Sunday night, it's on.

T.J. said...

Opening scene to Jackie Brown is Clarence's Womack jam, I do believe.

Mark said...

Today was pretty solid. Was put on a sandbar about 200 feet offshore helping my stepdaughter and nieces learn to surf and surfing a bit myself. A dolphin swam within five feet of us. My wife is afraid of everything so she temporarily lost her shit. Nobody else did. Living where I live I've seen many dolphins but never that close in the wild. Pretty damn cool.

Mark said...

Now I'm quietly drinking by myself while my wife and toddler sleep.

Shlara said...

Just catching up on the conversation.

Marls--welcome to the south

Mark--you are living the dream

Greg is alive?

Tiger says "Hi Gheorghies"

And I am sending my final NBA draft blog post to the Teej--he can throw it up here, if you guys want to read it...its no where near as snarky as the regular GTB conversation, but you may be entertained.

Mark said...

I look forward to it, Shlara.

Florida has its moments. Then you see the drunk guy swimming in his jorts at the hotel pool.

zman said...

If I was in a Bobby Womack cover band I'd call it Across 169th Street.

TR said...

Brazil-Chile diving in added time is out of hand.

Danimal said...

Crazy insane stuff here. Probably over now.

zman said...

T minus one hour until mint juleps, pears wrapped in prosciutto, Humboldt fog, guacamole, and an assortment of hoppy beers are doled out at zhome. Come by if you want some.

TR said...

Crazy insane?

Mark said...

We'll be eating some prosciutto and goat cheese appetizers in an hour or so. Big night for prosciutto in the GTB family.

Danimal said...

Crazy insane!

Danimal said...

#69 fogtb wnm hof'r and jmu'r jpc are posted up live at this columbia game. Kudos...jp has about 10 games on the docket. Props.

Marls said...

Earlier today my nephew was drafted in the 4th round by the Edmonton Oilers. Clearly the athletic talent in our household is on my wife's side.

Marls said...

Headed to Wolf Trap tonight. May have to pick up some prosciutto do my part.

Danimal said...

Congrats to the marls in-law family. I bet he can skate backwards.

I'm on my 3rd moscow mule and my middle child (lucifer) is in the midst of her 2nd or 8th meltdown of the day.

TR said...

What's a beautiful woman like you doing with a couple muchachos like this?

She's into muchachos, Dino.

(Censored version is more amusing)

TR said...

I am breaking my Camden Yards cherry today. Helluva ballpark. The O's performance, on the other hand, not so great.

But the Shocktop vendors are prompt and we are walking back to our hotel. My kids are a glazed mess, thanks to giant bags of cotton candy.

And people apparently call bags of peanuts "nutbags" with no irony intended. My wife has no interest. I've asked her several times.

rob said...

broke the bank this afternoon buying books at the yellow umbrella. fell victim to the power of my own bloggy suggestion.

rob said...

just saw james rodriguez' first goal - that was as sick a play by a striker as you'll see.

Mark said...

Indeed it was. The wife and kid took a late afternoon nap. I snuck out of the hotel to pick up some crown and then stopped at a dive for the second half of Colombia-Uruguay.

About to eat way too much of the aforementioned app and some slow smoked brisket. Followed by plenty of booze. Yay vacation!

Danimal said...

My boy and I watched the Bo 30 for 30 tonight. He was enthralled. He continues to ask questions about why he became ineligible after the plane ride to Tampa, and more about his hip injury. He just came out of his room after being in bed for 15 min or so to ask if Bo is dead. I told him no, that he is doing great. He asked if he is still strong. I said yes, very. He asked if he'd ever be able to meet him. I'll try.

Mark said...

That is great, Danimal. Get him a The Ballplayer poster. One of the best posters of all time. Had it in my room growing up. Despite Bo spurning the Bucs I never could hate him. He was just too damn good/entertaining/amazing.

TR said...

I'm partial to Patrick Ewing's Madison Square Guardian poster, if only because his gennies are about to fall out of his short shorts.

rob said...

compelled by gheorghian wisdom, i ordered a pizza with blueberry purée, goat cheese, and prosciutto. it was fucking bonkers. in a good way.

Mark said...

I've had pizza with all that save for the blueberry purée. I'm gonna have to do something about that.

zman said...

The Thurmanator is was a must-have poster although rootsy was not a fan. I am full of bourbon and pork products.

rob said...

the balls on jason kidd, no?

Mark said...

You could say this all the way back to him getting his coach at Cal canned. Or when he rolled up on Toni Braxton when she was dating Jim Jackson. Jason Kidd: First team all dick move.

rootsminer said...

I assume the Thurmanator poster has reclaimed it's rightful spot at the head of zbed, yes?

T.J. said...

Had the Reign Man Kemp poster. Was the shizznit.

Marls said...

I believe I have the Madison Square Guardian poster in storage at momma Marls' house.

The only thing Kemp reigned was his semen on random ladies.

Danimal said...

I had a Chocolate Thunder, Magic, Isiah, and Willie Randolph. Yes, Willie Randolph had a poster.

Clarence said...

Reggie Jackson. Dwight Gooden. Dr. J. Michael Jordan. The Clash. Grateful Dead. R.EM.

Clarence said...

When I was first married and living in Arlington we had a finished basement that was the only room I had any decorating influence. Classy all the way, I bought a cool bar from a classified ad and some posters to adorn the faux wood paneling. My favorite was a big picture of Keith Richards wearing a T-shirt that says, "Who the Fuck is Mick Jagger?"

Clarence said...

How did that dork from The Max make his way into that SBTB picture? Must've worked his "magic."

zman said...

Clinton is on Meet the Press. He looks old as hell. He's too smart for David Gregory to hang.

zman said...

And he took a giant steaming dump on Cheney.

Clarence said...

The CDC reports that "The life span of persons who drink excessively is reduced by 30 years."

Cheers.

Marls said...

Define excessively....

Marls said...

Ed Alonzo is an underrated talent. His work on season one of SBTB was groundbreaking for a restaurant owning magician.

mayhugh said...

Ochoa (Mexico's goalie) always seems to be in the right location. whenever there is a winning cross he is right in front of the guy who ends up contacting the ball.

Marls said...

I find it hard to root for the Mexican national team but the potential for 3 CONCACAF teams in the quarters is rather cool.

mayhugh said...

Crappy way to give up a second goal. That was not worthy of a penalty shot.

Marls said...

Great first goal for the Dutch. Lousy way to lose on that penalty.

zman said...

I saw a thing on TV where CDC said 8 or more drinks a week is excessive. Which is funny given that a glass of red wine a day is supposed to be good for you. So that second glass of wine one day a week will kill you?

Marls said...

It's a fine line Z.

rob said...

just saw the mexico result. dagger for el tri.

Clarence said...

Goalie is a funny word like roadie or groupie. Wherever you hang out a lot, you add -ie. Like pubie or whorehousie.

Mark said...

SEC fans remember former Auburn TE Phillip Lutzenkirchen. It felt like he was the SEC version of the old Buddy Ryan quote about Cris Carter, "all he does is catch touchdowns".

Lutzenkirchen died in a car crash last night. 23 years old. Pour a little out.

zman said...

I was all excited to make a juvenile/pervy "-ie" to try to start a rhombus but I can't after that. 23 year olds shouldn't die.

rob said...

poor costa rica

TR said...

As all of you are probably aware, Costa Rica - Greece is a matchup of my wife and I's best two international vacations. We are heavily conflicted on this match, but are leaning Greece b/c we were big fans of George Papadopoulos, as both an athlete and an adoptive parent.

Marls said...

CAN-CACAF

rob said...

the usmnt is better than costa rica. and the ticos just beat a euro to make the quarters. belgium >>> greece, for sure, but omens, man. omens.

zman said...

Whoa whoa whoa. What about Cancun? Yoo wan go booz crooz?

Shlara said...

Those ESPN people are smart by putting pretty soccer people in the studio to talk at us--this "last call" setting is cheesy, but it works

rob said...

finally saw the mexico/netherlands highlights. you know i like the dutch, but robben's dive to earn the penalty that decided the match is the kind of shit that deserves karmic payback. maybe costa rica benefits.

rob said...

my high school principal just posted a picture of himself and his cat on facebook. in which he has full sleeve tats on both arms. (the principal, not the cat.)

mind. blown.

Dave said...

i am rooting hard for the usmt, but i'm not sure if they're better than costa rica.

TR said...

128 minutes into Yanks-Sox game and we are in the bottom of the fifth. We're on track for a four hour game.

rob said...

we've beaten the ticos two of the past three times we've played them. which is good enough for me.

rob said...

lionel ritchie seems like a weird cat

Shlara said...

This Lionel Ritchie celebration is awesome

Shlara said...

Rob---we found the same typo!!

Mark said...

Is Lionel Ritchie one of Madonna & Guy Ritchie's kids?

Ron's high school principal sounds much cooler than mine?

Dave said...

i loved that finished basement. you should have taken it with you.